Today at Gawker.TV, The Simpsons ponder gender-neutral names, Elisabeth Hasselbeck returns to The View and defends Obama, George Lopez makes all the same monologue jokes, we've discovered the next Antiques Roadshow, and The Onion takes aim at 24-hour news networks.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Giveth Support To President Obama Then Quickly Taketh Away
The View ladies welcomed back card-carrying GOP fanatic Elisabeth Hasselbeck into their fold after a week-long sick leave due to an umbilical hernia. Her first order of business? Defending Barack Obama. It appears that her heart grew three sizes today.

The Simpsons Does Not Like Your Gender Neutral Names
I can tell you from personal experience that gender neutral names confuse people. A lot. And, as The Simpsons proved last night, if you take away gender-identifying clues, the Dylan's and Sam's of the world are indistinguishable.

The Onion News Network Takes on 24-Hour News Programming
The faux-news report begins, "In a desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here's some bullshit that happened somewhere today" where "residents were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening." We couldn't have said it better ourselves.

George Lopez's Monologues Are All The Same
Hmm, the more we check out George Lopez, the less excited we are for "Team Loco". George Lopez appears to use the same formula every night, tell a mediocre joke, spin, and cue the band.

Accidental Fortune is the New Antiques Roadshow
Can you believe that the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his first home run in Yankee Stadium sat under someone's bed for 18 years? Accidental Fortune gives hope to random people with random things looking to strike it rich.