Let's take a look at gay news of the day. There's a porn star who continues to be too gay, bisexual softball players who aren't gay enough, and a celebrity who is about to reveal just how gay they are.
Remember Brent Corrigan, née Sean Lockhart? He's the apple-cheeked pornography actor who was mysteriously banned from speaking at Yale. Well the mystery continues, as Corrigan/Lockhart's lawyer tells the Yale Daily News that his speaking engagement was canceled not because of some fee issues, as was previously offered as an excuse, but because the Pride Month coordinators didn't feel like they had enough time to prepare for the crazy storm of anger that would erupt across the hallowed campus should this barebacking twink-hunk arrive to tell his tale. And we all know the best way to work with people who are upset is to run away from them and thus indulge them. Brent Corrigan: Too Gay (for Yale).
Let's get on the Yale private jet here (you know they have one) and fly over to San Francisco, where a big bi brouhaha is boiling. According to the Seattle Times, three bisexual men are suing the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance claiming that they were banned from participating in the Gay Softball World Series (this is a thing) because they're only bi, not like Gay gay. There's a rule that only two heterosexual people can be on each team, and a rival team claimed that the bi dudes' team was in violation of that, even though they're bi, not straight. A Crucible-esque tribunal was formed and the following happened:
Each of the three plaintiffs was called into a conference room in front of more than 25 people, and was asked "personal and intrusive questions" about his sexual attractions and desires, purportedly to determine if the player was heterosexual or gay, the lawsuit alleges.
Oh my! Sexual attractions and desires! That sounds a little steamy, doesn't it? "Tell me, Mr. Bisexual, if I were to walk into your bedroom, nude and holding a spatula, what would you do? What would you doooo?"
In the end the tribunal found the men "nongay" and
had them pressed under rocks like Giles Corey stripped their team of their second-place position and recommended a one year ban for all three men. So now they're suing for emotional distress money and a change in the rules. Goodness gracious what a mess. So, Bisexual Softball Players: Not Gay Enough (for gay softball).
Finally we turn our eyes to a stunning mystery. Supposedly there is going to be a big celebrity coming-out on May 5th. Naturally it will take place on the cover of People magazine, America's top choice for coming out location after your mom's car while she's driving you to the airport and Denise's basement. But zomgargoyles, who will it be??? Queen La? Zach Quinto? The regretful ghost of Dinah Shore? No one knows! You guys should speculate in the comments please. We hope it's a really exciting person. We hope it's 50 Cent. That would be amazing. Apparently the person is doing a big "coming out tour," so we'll have to guess, though, that's it's someone who's trying to create some celebrity, not someone who already has it. We're looking at you, Tom Bergeron?
Anyway. Unknown Celebrity: Just As Gay As They Need to Be (starting May 5th).
That's today in gay, guys.