Oprah Winfrey fancies herself an every-woman so it isn't surprising that convinced other celebrities to tape themselves doing the jobs they once held before they were stars. Proof that your brain dies once you sign a TV contract inside.

In case you thought that becoming famous didn't mess with your ability to perform menial work here's how today's guests fared when Oprah put them to the test. SPOILER ALERT: Embarassingly.

Exhibit A: If Randy Jackson Asks You "Paper or Plastic?", Change Aisles

Exhibit B: Brooke Burke Twists Again, Like She Did Two Decades Ago

The only exception to these horrifying displays of Undercover Boss come to life was batshit-crazy Southern chef Paula Deen, who managed to utilize the same charm she's used to convince America to ingest her calorie-laden dishes into thinking she's a semi-suitable bank teller. Though, if you ask me, anyone who chooses to let Paula Deen handle their money—like those who actively choose to eat her food—deserves whatever is coming to them, bankruptcy and a triple-bypass included.

There, now don't you feel better about your nine-to-five? No? Well, me neither.