Venezuela's president and commander-in-insanity once likened Twitter criticism to "terrorism." Now he's ready to fight fire with fire: "Comandante Chavez is going to open his Twitter account soon to wage the battle online," announced Venezuela's state-run communications agency.

Chavez's publicist continued, "I'm sure he'll break records for numbers of followers." First he'll have to come up with a handle: @hugochavez is already taken. [Telegraph] Update: I finally see why you were all making size jokes in the comments. The headline has been updated to read 'Hugo Chavez' instead of 'Huge Chavez.'