Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's

So you want to protest Arizona's stupid new immigration law by boycotting the state, like San Francisco did. Okay. Can you live without Sky Mall, P.F. Chang's, domain-name registration and internet pornography?

Arizona, the refried-bean swastika state, has made it legal for the police to detain anyone on suspicion of being Mexican. This is a remarkably stupid and harmful law, even for the state that gave us Barry Goldwater, and in response, some people are recommending a boycott of Arizona.

That doesn't sound too bad! We have effectively been boycotting Arizona for years by not thinking about it, or going to it, ever, so this should be pretty easy. And you're aided by the fact that most Arizona businesses suck. Even so, you should cross-check our list to ensure you are fully compliant (all info courtesy the never-wrong internet scholarly location "Wikipedia"):

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: P.F. Chang's China Bistro
Category: Crappy Chinese food
Based out of: Scottsdale
Suggested replacement: A real Chinese restaurant, for Christ's sake.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: Sky Mall
Category: Sales, category: Shit you didn't realize you needed till you had that second vodka and cranberry 30,000 feet above sea level.
Based out of: Phoenix
Suggested replacement: Going to the Brookstone store in the mall to sit in the massage chairs till you get kicked out.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: Go Daddy
Category: Bizarrely sleazy domain-name registration
Based out of: Scottsdale
Suggested replacement: Ask yourself, "Do I need a domain name?" The answer is "no."

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: John McCain
Category: Old people/Senators
Based out of: Phoenix/Washington, D.C.
Suggested replacement: Vermont Socialist Bernie Sanders.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: Alcor Life Extension Foundation
Category: Cryonics, the science of freezing gullible dead people
Based out of: Scottsdale
Suggested replacement: Freezer in your garage.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: The Arizona Diamondbacks
Category: Baseball teams
Based out of: Phoenix
Suggested replacement: The New York Yankees.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: ClubJenna, Inc.
Category: Branded internet pornography
Based out of: Glendale
Suggested replacement: Perfume ads in Vanity Fair.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's



Business: The Grand Canyon
Category: Canyons
Based out of: The Grand Canyon
Suggested replacement: LEGOLAND® California.

Your Guide to the Arizona Boycott: Porn, Sky Mall, and P.F. Chang's

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