After her jihad against fish sticks, she waged war on photographers angling for a Kate Hudson upskirt. Paris Hilton has a dancefloor fun-off. Lady Gaga does not subsist on baby food. Is Julia Roberts jealous of Sandra? Thursday gossip ahoy!

  • In town for The Killer Inside Me's Tribeca Film Festival premiere, Jessica Alba tried to heat up fish sticks in her hotel kitchen, and "She ended up almost causing a fire in her room. Fire alarms ended up going off throughout the hotel. The smoke was so bad that fire trucks had to come." Then she went to her movie's premiere where she shielded a maybe-pregnant, maybe-fake-boobed Kate Hudson from the prying camera lens of the paparazzi, who thought maybe if they made their flashes extra bright, they could penetrate her big baggy dress and see her naked! So they flashed and flashed away, but Kate never flashed them, so we still don't know if she's with fetus or what. Failure. [P6]

  • Meanwhile, also at the Tribeca Film Festival, Bill Murray went to a fancy dinner and flirted with his male waiter and told everyone they were eating zebra. [P6]

  • Though Sandra Bullock's secret, months-old baby adoption proved that none of the tabloids' anonymous "insiders" know a damn thing about Sandy (she had been working on the adoption for four years, and not a peep!), anonymous "insiders" are still talking. This one says Life & Style—which broke Jesse's cheating scandal in the first place—was "close to breaking the adoption story," having reported that Sandy was "going to adopt." Sounds like random darts on a board to me. Anyway, that rumor might be what spurred Sandra to break the story herself, via adorable photo shoot. [NBN]

  • TMZ points out that Sandra Bullock's baby adoption People cover "blind sided" Julia Roberts, who was supposed to get the cover for being the year's Most Beautiful Person for her eight millionth time in a row. It's funny because Julia turned down Sandy's role in The Blind Side. "Being a Pretty Woman is not enough." I have an irrational knee-jerk hatred for Julia Roberts, so this gives me joy. I hope she's sitting at home with her twin babies, Iris and Wombat, seething. [TMZ]

  • Contrary to popular belief, Lady Gaga is not on a "baby food diet," which sounds even more disgusting than the one that combines water, honey, and cayenne pepper. Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon supposedly gave it a try, too, but got hungry and stopped. [MTV]

  • Paris Hilton ran into ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt at a club, and it was just like an episode of Gossip Girl: "Paris and Doug were on opposite sides of the dance floor. It was a contest as to who was having the best time." Do not challenge Paris Hilton to a dancefloor fun-off. You will lose. [P6]

  • Mariah Carey wants a second wedding because "every time she gets married, she makes a fortune selling the pictures from her wedding. It's genius." All is business in love and war. [NBN second item]

  • These people said "no" to Celebrity Rehab: Charlie Sheen, Brooke Mueller, Jenna Jameson, Heather Locklear, and Lindsay Lohan, who turned down a reported $1 million. [Gatecrasher]

  • The fiance of Sweden's hot princess cheated with a one-night stand at a ski resort, so Princess Madeleine dumped his ass and is having some "peace and quiet" time, nobody knows where, probably because Princess Hottie has zillions of stalkers, so they can't say where she is, ever, otherwise she might receive "a box full of lingerie and wires," like she did last year, at a Madison Avenue family residence. Here's a picture of Princess Hottie and Cheating Scoundrel Jonas Bergstrom in happier times. [NYDN]
Jessica Alba Started a Fire Cooking Fish Sticks, and Other Feats
  • After her revelation on The Howard Stern Show about being the other woman to Gwen Stefani's Gavin Rossdale, Courtney Love has hit the Hollywood trifecta of vice: Sex (with a competitor's husband), Drugs (admitting to past use on Letterman), and trying to help Lindsay Lohan. [LAT, Twitter]

  • Tinsley Mortimer reality show High Society is headed for red! hot! lesbian! sex! Because "lesbian Don Juan" and Yahoo! heiress Courtenay Semel is coming. Does that mean Courtenay's moving to New York? [P6]

  • Robert Downey, Jr. says jail was nice, in a safe-and-swaddled sort of way: "When the door clicks shut, then you are safe. There is nothing aside from a rogue correctional officer that can do you harm if you have the right cellie. You are actually in the safest place on Earth. Safe from intruders." He makes it sound like a cozy mid-day nap, hiding under the covers and pretending the outside world does not exist. [NYDN]

  • Kate Gosselin wore a sport bra in a public and her abs were rather impressive. [NYDN]