Hey look at the cool new thing! Burger King, a highfalutin hamburg shoppe, is rolling out a new sexy brunch menu. It's true! Because all those gays and Sexy City-ers love brunch, so the rest of America will too.
The special new menu includes an egg and cheese sandwich with various meats and an exotic tomato sauce, served on classy-type Ciabatta bread. They'll be serving the Whopper in the mornings too, because sometimes brunch menus have a burger on them. And guess what?? They're also serving a mimosa! No, calm down, drunken Burger King fan (i.e. all Burger King fans). There's no alcohol in them. It's just orange juice with Sprite. Yep. Probably took some sort of planning committee three months to come up with that one. Finally, over brunch at Wendy's one day, they cracked the case. Aren't you so excited?
The brunch menu will test in the brunchiest places for all of brunching, Massachusetts and Florida. Though, uh, last time we checked there wasn't a Burger King in the South End of Boston. And we don't know about Miami Beach. Any Sunshine gays reading this thing? Is there a Burger King down there where one can get Whopper Brunch? Let's hope so.