The Week We Got Kicked Out of Arizona

This week, many things happened. Funny things, sad things, happy things. But mostly dumb things. Lots and lots of dumb things.

Lots of people were dumb enough to say dumb things out loud in front of cameras. Ivanka Trump had very meaningful things to say about regular Americans. And the grandson of a guy named Fob wants you to know that in America, we speak English. And have English names, like Fob.

Sometimes people don't say dumb things on camera! Sometimes they say them in email. Let's all look at this horrible Harvard Law Racist Emailer, who will never drink and Gmail ever again. She's joined in the Dumb Computer Usage penalty box by this wannabe intern, who might actually work at your company right now. And hey, you know what else is on the internet and is a good place to say dumb, racist things? Facebook! Just ask this pickup driver.

Speaking of dumb people saying dumb things, remember The Hills? Forget it.

Here's a cute thing. A celebrity is coming out in People magazine next week. OMG who is it??? Oh. It is this person. But what about these wonderful dancing soldiers??

What is the matter with young people? Why are they all living at home, and dating their grandmas these days? We blame the text messaging. Or the AOL curse. Or maybe it's the boobs' fault!

Uh oh. The Washington Post cares about black people, just the wrong ones. You know who really cares about brown people? Arizona. Boooo, Arizona. And you know who cares about Asian people and their crazy sex cults? Maureen O'Connor, that's who.

In addition to being dumb, people were also angry this week. Russell Crowe will kill you with his bare hands. Barack Obama will crush you with his new, enormous balls. Pat Kennedy will try to punch you, but he'll just fall down.

Apple Computers. Everyone likes them. Too bad they don't like laughter or gay stuff. But they do like breaking people's doors. They do like that.

There were TV shows that got watched and talked about. Don't miss out on the conversation!

Most importantly, an eel ate a guy's butt. In some ways, the oil spill is the eel eating America's butt, isn't it?

Sigh.