The White House Correspondents' Association Dinner was tonight, your only chance to catch Justin Bieber and Tim Geithner in the same room. You weren't invited; neither were we. What did we miss? Jokes!

Obama's speech—which we hear was written by David Axelrod and Jon Favreau—cut a wide, withering swathe through the political and cultural landscape: Zinging Jay Leno, Scott Brown, Sarah Palin, Politico, Fox, CNN, the Jonas Brothers, the GOP, Eric Massa and a lot of other stuff!

He opened with a nod to Biden's infamous "big fucking deal" gaffe:


(Did he actually say "fucking" or what? It's unclear but is this a matter of national importance?)

Then moved on to birthers:

And he spoofed Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, GOP leader John boehner and—!!!—Jersey Shore in a series of made up "secret provisions" in the health care bill.

(The fact that Obama knows who Snooki is both terrifies and excites us.)

Jay Leno—the headliner—was low-hanging fruit. (He was booked before the late-night wars were waged.) And Obama skewered and burned him alive like a freshly skinned rabbit over a frontier cook fire:

And also, a couple random good one-liners:

  • "They say I'm popular on twitter and Facebook. Or as Sarah Palin says, the 'socialized media.'"

  • "You know what really tickles me? Eric Massa."

  • To the Jonas Brothers, who Malia and Sasha Love: "Two words: 'Predator Drones.'"
  • "These jokes tonight were brought to you by Goldman Sachs. They make money whether we laugh or not."

  • He called Michael Steele: 'The Notorious G.O.P.'"
  • Then Leno came on and he was... Jay Leno. Here is a representative joke about "illegal aliens" and green energy:

    Yikes.

    Obama, you're a pretty funny guy! Excellent timing and the deadpan thing really works for you. But don't quit your day job. Not because you're not funny, but because that would mean Joe Biden would be president.

    Here's the full video of Obama's and Leon's speeches: