Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the president of Iran, but he's also the host of a talk-show. It is called The Crazy Report, with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. In today's episode, Ahmadinejad told George Stephanopoulos he knew where Osama Bin Laden is. Washington D.C.!
As you may know, Ahmadinejad has taken a break from using dissidents as human pinatas to visit New York for a UN conference this week. George Stephanopoulos sat him down for an interview that should probably be shown in every journalism class to illustrate how you deal with a crazy person. No: Do not reach out and smack them even if the crazy bullshit that comes out of their mouth would embarrass Rush Limbaugh; neither should you break down in tears when they constantly avoid your questions, a shit-eating grin plastered to their face. George Stephenopolis somehow kept his composure as Ahmadinejad told him that,
I heard that Osama Bin Laden is in Washington D.C. He's there because he was a previous partner of Mr. Bush. They were colleagues in fact, in the old days. You know that. They worked together.
But wouldn't it be amazing if Osama Bin Laden was in D.C.? Maybe he's fashioned a lair for himself in the dome of the Capitol, living off Saltines George Bush sneaks up to him at night. Or maybe he's living in a dingy studio in Arlington. He shaved his beard, ditched the turban, got a nice polo shirt and a job at a Du Pont Circle Cosi he commutes to by bike every day. He's a cashier, and he's good. Damn good.
BIN LADEN DETERMINED TO STRIKE U.S... WITH EXCEPTIONAL CUSTOMER SERVICE.