The Infinite Paradox of Kendra Wilkinson's Sex TapeS

She'll profit from a massive advertainment campaign for it, even as she fights it. Sandra Bullock is leaving L.A. for good. (We think.) Courtney Love reveals a depressing sex secret. Kenny Chesney's home is underwater. Here's your Thursday gossip.

  • If Kendra Wilkinson's lawyers successfully block Vivid Entertainment's release of a her sex tape, Kendra will have performed a previously unthinkable fameball feat: All the sex tape fame, without anyone seeing the tape, because the imbroglio will be featured prominently in E! reality show Kendra. So either her show has its best season yet, or Vivid gets an enormous unpaid-for advertainment campaign from their unwitting porn star's primetime TV show... Wait a minute those aren't mutually exclusive... But her lawyers are indeed fighting, and this OK cover story says "damage control," which means she probably doesn't want the tape out there—just the publicity and magazine covers that surround it. Kendra's supposedly eighteen in the video, which means there's a chance it's pre-fake tits (she got them when she was eighteen) in which case her Playboy-approved bubble-boob image really would be at stake. [TMZ, Radar, Radar]

  • Sandra Bullock is done with Los Angeles, and will from now on divide her time between Austin, Texas and New Orleans, birthplace of new son Louis. "Sandra hates the fakeness of Hollywood and doesn't want to raise her little boy in that environment. The whole place is so toxic for her... She might never make another film again. Now her life is about her son and finding happiness again." This is like when Brangelina moved to New Orleans, only Sandy will be far better at the life incognito, because she isn't addicted to intercontinental travel. [NBN]

  • Oh no, this is depressing: Courtney Love says she's a good lay "because I was never pretty. Pretty girls just lie there. Us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try a lot harder." [P6]

  • Prince won the Time 100 gala, because he snubbed more people than any other honoree. He refused to take his seat for dinner, talked to no one, left early, and went downtown to party harder at a place where Bill Clinton didn't give boring speeches and Taylor Swift didn't warble atonally into a microphone. Prince's judgment is always spot-on. [P6]

  • Runner-up in the Snub 100 Derby: Lady Gaga, who skipped the whole shebang to leave her costume and entourage at home and go incognito at a party for Lady Starlight. (They have matching names, how could she resist?) Second runner-up: Lea Michele who, when a photographer asked for her name, was so pissed that he didn't already know it, she replied "Sarah Palin," and laughed in his face. Bad move, Lea. He'll broadcast only the ugliest photos of you, now. [P6, P6]

  • An angry mob of pro-Jacko vigilantes have rallied to hunt the medical office manager who claims he was Michael Jackson's gay lover, who is now in hiding. [TMZ]

  • Of surviving his brain hemorrhage, Bret Michaels says, "It just wasn't my time yet." Apparetly he turned to the doctor in the ER, "And I said in these exact words, 'Am I dying? If Im dying I want to see my kids, but if I have a chance, I don't want them to see me in this condition.'" [People]

  • Among those submerged in Nashville: Kenny Chesney, whose 40-acre waterfront property is swimming with the fishes as the result of the flood crisis that has overtaken Tennessee, Kentucky, and Mississippi. [E!]

  • Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller's on-again off-again plan to divorce is back on. They are "getting all the paperwork ready." But will they make it to their May 30 anniversary, when Brooke gets her annual allowance of $300,000? [TMZ]

  • Naomi Campbell is a fan of the master cleanse, the draconian diet wherein the penitent consumes nothing like water blended with maple syrup, lemon, and cayenne pepper. Isn't it time for a new fad diet? I vote kumqats, honey, and habanero. [DailyMail]

  • Al Capone's silver-plated Colt .39 Special is for sale for $95,000. It's no diamond-studded drug gun, but it'll do. [P6]