Respected environmental theorist Rush Limbaugh was talking about the disastrous BP oil spill on the radio today and he wanted everyone to cool it with the doom and gloom. The eternal optimist says this could be good for the beach.
He breaks the oil spill blessings into two parts. First, the beaches will be devoid of people on account of them being all gross and sticky, so they'll be left alone to fix themselves. So that's good. (Plus, there will be oil on the beach that we can use for our great belching suburban assault vehicles!) And second, there won't be any turtles laying their eggs on the beach at night (because they'll be "smart enough" to avoid the oil slick), so Rush can turn the lights on at his own beachfront property. That is terrific! And something he understands better than anyone who doesn't own beachfront property, like all these broke environmentalist whiners.
And he's right, folks. There is some good in this. Nature will do what it does and Rush can turn on his floodlights, which he needs on in order to pull himself up onto the cool, brightly lit sand and lay his own eggs. The circle of life.