LIVE: Breaking Bad, Episode EightS


Were there enough "holy shit" packed into one episode for you last week? The episode kicked off with Creepy Cartel Jefe confessing his distaste for "the Chicken Man" (read: Gus) and then nonchalantly drowning a nine-year-old.

Nothing spells "f-o-r-e-s-h-a-d-o-w" like "c-h-i-l-d a-b-u-s-e."

After figuring out Marie's "emergency" was a hoax, Hank paid Jesse a house visit, earning Jesse a hospital visit, in-patient style, At least that gave Saul an opportunity to provide what's becoming a rare service for him — that is, act as an actual LAWYER.

Naturally, Jesse swore eternal, legal vengeance. Skyler tried to pull a "sassy wife" move to get Walt to call off Jesse, forgetting that she'd been demoted to "ex-wife."

In the lab, Neil set a thermometer wrong and spoiled a batch. Missing the Garfunkel to his Simon, Walt asked for Jesse back. Jesse shot back the monologue of a lifetime (seriously, Aaron Paul deserves something better than an Emmy for his performance — like a $50 gift card to Red Lobster). Walt left, but not before complimenting the quality of Jesse's meth. Checkmate! Jesse's back on board.

Hank, coping with the fall-out of his freak-out, prepared to leave the precinct in disgrace. At the last second, his boss gave him good news— Jesse's not pressing charges! Too bad the Twins were waiting to kill him in the parking lot. Hank managed to crush Thing One's pelvis, and shoot Thing Two's brains out in a showdown worthy of a spaghetti Western, but not without absorbing a few slugs himself.

Whew. I'm so exhausted from last week's episode I can barely generate questions — I'm just content to sit back and watch the spectacle. But for old time's sake: will last week's list of casualties climb from two to three? Who was the garbled voice that warned Hank of his assassins? Will Skyler finally turn Walt in after learning of Hank's injuries/death? Will the Twins' badass skull boots get donated to the nearest Salvation Army? (I've got dibs.)

LIVE: Breaking Bad, Episode Eight

Mary Shyne is a recent NYU grad with a BA in English, which is to say I live in Brooklyn and eat a lot of canned food from Associated. You can read her blog here.