Could Lindsay Lohan's Career Possibly Be More Ruined? And Other Metaphysical Questions

Will Lindsay playing a porn star destroy her career (more?). Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are no longer fighting, physically or emotionally. Mel Gibson may have had sex with a porn producer. Sunday's gossip roundup is strangely porn-y.

  • Of course Michael Lohan has an opinion about the news that Lindsay Lohan will be playing porn star Linda Lovelace in a movie. "Please, don't give me this 'craft' or 'artistic' BS," he told Radar. "It's a far cry from the general audience and good-natured films lindsay did, that made her a star!" Honestly, after I Know Who Killed Me she could not only play but actually become a pedophile priest and it would be hailed as a brilliant career move. [Radar]

  • More Lilo news! Do you remember that hilarious defamation lawsuit she filed against E*TRADE because the baby in those talking baby Super Bowl commercials named Lindsay was called a "milkaholic" by other babies? The idea, being, that the creators of the advertisement were somehow commenting on Lindsay's own substance abuse? Well, E*TRADE has filed a motion to dismiss the case because it is "meritless." LiLo is also planning on suing other drunk people named "Lindsay" for copyright infringement.[TMZ]

  • As part of his Oprah appearance, Robert Pattinson dropped in on some random Twilight fans. When he walked in, Maria Mele said her family "all lost it... [We were] screaming like a bunch of maniacs. We were all amazed that he was in our house." Pretty sure Robert Pattinson was amazed he was there, too. [People]

  • Did Mel Gibson have sex with a Polish porn producer? That is what a Polish porn producer says! 26-year-old Violet Kowal—whose picture does not apparently exist on the Internet (we looked!)—says she had sex with Mel Gibson while he was dating Russian Oksana Grigorieva. (Gibson denies this!) What is it with Mel Gibson and these Eastern European women? When a Lithuanian bakery owner steps forward we'll know something's up. [National Enquirer]

  • Did Larry King agree to have a baby with his wife's sister, Shannon Engemann? Is Larry King physically possible of producing offspring? The Enquirer says so! But you will have to buy the whole issue to figure out the details. So, someone do that and email us about it. [National Enquirer]

  • MUSICAL INTERLUDE

  • Super-preacher Joel Osteen has invited alleged Michael Jackson-killer Dr. Conrad Murray to have a private pray date. If Joel Osteen is found dead of a Propofol overdose in the next couple weeks, we know who did it. [TMZ]

  • Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy had a baby. On mother's day, which is good for one of them! The baby is named Bryn Hoppy and it weighs 4 lb. 12 oz. This must be within the normal weight-range for a baby and not some sort of freakishly huge or miniature baby because then the story would be "Bethenny Frankel has freakishly huge baby" and it would probably be the lead story and the freak baby and Bethenny Frankel would get their own reality show. [People]

  • Colin Hanks, who looks both really like his dad and not in a disturbing way, got married to publicist Samantha Bryant. Their wedding was so fancy that they kicked the other guests at their hotel out of the pool so Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, who was also there, could play Marco Polo undisturbed. [E!]

  • Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz have been spotted making out after she claimed he beat her and he claimed she had a pill-popping problem. Sweet. [Radar]

  • BREAKING!!!: Justin Bieber says he "may" change his hair in the future. [US Weekly]