Professional old person Andy Rooney has an opinion! Well, not really an opinion, so much as, some words. You see, Andy Rooney is an "absolutely dead center, normal average American," who just happens to have a huge national platform to complain about things every Sunday. And it confuses him, because he is so average, when there is music he has never heard of!
Is America being torn apart by Lady Gaga and Usher?! No, according to Andy Rooney: "We all like comfort, beauty, ice cream, a sunny day and a win for our favorite team" (unless we are lactose intolerant, or don't like sports).
So why can't we all get along, and listen to the same music? Music that Andy has heard of, like Sting, or the Rolling Stones? Who knows! Don't ask Andy Rooney! He "doesn't hear or like the nuances of sound that other people hear and do like." So it's a good thing he's taken three minutes on national television to let us all know that he's confused by the modern world.
But it's unfair to blame Andy Rooney, professional journalist, for being completely unfamiliar with three of the most famous people in the country! He probably didn't know about Gawker's Adrian Chen's Guide to Justin Bieber for Old People. And besides, the youngs don't know who Ella Fitzgerald is. Do you, youngs? Andy! We have a great idea: Why don't you write an "Ella Fitzgerald Guide for Young People" for us? You know where to reach us!