Lindsay and Avril's Nightclub Screaming Match, and Other Terrors

It was about being "fake." Speaking of fakes, guess which starlet got a boob job now? Jake Gyllenhaal fears ostriches. Ed Westwick fears Olivia Munn. Bethenny Frankel filmed her childbirth for a TV show.

  • Sometimes it's like Lindsay Lohan is working her way down a checklist: Things To Do Before I Leave Hollywood. Today, she feuds with Avril Lavigne. LiLo snubbed Avril at a party, but when she saw her with boyfriend Brody Jenner and other popular kids at Chateau Marmont, she "sidled up," prompting Avril to shriek, "Get the hell out of my face, you are a fake, you are a loser. I don't like false people. Stay away from me and my friends." (1.) Irony (2.) "False people" is a stilted phrase, but Avril is Canadian, maybe it works there? (3.) What if LiLo wanted to be Avril's friend, but was too shy without an intermediary to introduce her? Verdict: Avril Lavigne has a poor sense of self-awareness and an itchy trigger finger for starlet-killing. The imbroglio ends with LiLo trying to get Avril tossed out of Marmont, but failing. [P6, Images: X-17 Agency, Pacific Coast News]

  • Another day, another boob job rumor: Jaime Pressly got one "a couple weeks ago," but word is she also got on in 2004, so maybe it was just upkeep? Silicone breasts : Hollywood :: Well-manicured lawns : Suburbs [Us, NYDN]

  • Cynthia Nixon describes her girlfriend as "a short man with boobs. A lot of what I love about her is her butchness. I'm not saying I fell in love with her in a sexually neutral way. I love her sexuality—it's a big part of what I love about her—but I feel like it was her." [Advocate]

  • The sole remaining mystery in Bethenny Frankel's life has been answered: Yes, there were TV cameras in the delivery room. "Bethenny doesn't want to live off camera. She wants her whole life documented," said a friend. "A new reality star has been born." With that statement, lightning flashed, a mirror cracked, and a flock of ravens fell from the sky, dead. [NBN third item]

  • Jake Gyllenhaal is a fraidy cat. While filming Prince of Persia, "[the directors] would say, 'Don't make any noise around the ostriches. They'll tear out your eyes and rip out your heart.' So I was naturally terrified." Ostriches are pretty creepy-looking characters. Their heads and necks are like dinosaurs. [Gatecrasher]

  • Jill Zarin went booth to booth at a New York market demanding freebies. "She had such a sense of entitlement." Well, that is how she got the job in the first place. [P6]

  • Olivia Munn's nightly throng of fans "with their cellphones, flip cams, Blackberries, and iPhones" so horrified Ed Westwick that he changed his plans to avoid being in the same place as Olivia's claque. I'd say it's because her fanbase is gamers, but it's hard to imagine those people hang out at the Roosevelt Hotel? [P6]

  • Lady Gaga went in public in see-through panties. After so many months, it's impressive she can still shock us. The day she runs out and is forced to go completely naked is the day the Apocalypse begins. [Us]

  • Pregnant Claudia Schiffer posed like pregnant Demi Moore on the cover of Vogue Germany, and pregnant British reality star Chanelle Hayes did it, too. That pose is as ubiquitous as blowing kisses on the red carpet. [NYDN, DailyMail]

  • At the end of this item, you will snort derisively. Someone is trying to start a "Victoria Beckham is going to be Glee's next theme episode, after Madonna" rumor. Gatecrasher third item]

  • Kate Gosselin's sextuplets' sixth birthday party featured a pool party in 47-degree weather. Apparently they cranked the heat on the hot tub, which sounds kind of nice, though the tone of this item tells me I'm supposed to be outraged. [Us]

  • Liam Neeson held a one-year memorial for late wife Natasha Richardson. Vanessa Redgrave, Uma Thurman, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bono were all in attendance. [DailyMail]