In your holy Tuesday media column: Rupert Murdoch bathes his children in shit, David Brooks' wild undergrad antics exposed, Google has irrational hope for online ads, Playboy goes 3-D, and Donna Brazile is tired of hearing herself talk.

  • Remember when Rupert Murdoch and his wife baptized their children in the River Jordan in a mystical celebupoliticoreligious ceremony a few months back? Well it turns out that thanks the river's low flow and the massive amount of raw sewage pumped into it on a daily basis, those kids were "literally bathing in shit." Jesus is real, after all.
  • Here is a real quote from David Brooks, party animal NYT columnist: "I spent much of my undergraduate time not actually going to class but hanging around the library and reading old issues of The New Republic from roughly when it started in World War I to the 1920s and 1930s." And fuckin'.
  • The Google corporation holds the belief that in the near future, "display ads will, per eyeball, be worth more online than they were in print." If that is true, it will only be because the value of print ads craters.
  • Playboy's June centerfold will be in 3-D. Just contemplating the jokes makes you tired, right? Let's just skip it.
  • Donna Brazile, Democratic pundit, says in a column of punditry that punditry should be abolished. Perhaps they can invite her on the news shows this weekend to debate the issue lightheartedly with her peers who hold different opinions?