States Will Get Citizens Drunk, Take Their Money at the Craps TableS

The Way We Live Now: Embracing the dark side. When evil is the only path to survival, then evil is the path that we shall trod. Whether that means stealing from neighbors, taking your livelihood, or wearing an ugly sweatshirt.

Vice is back! And not a moment to soon. Vice, meaning "bad things" rather than "the magazine," is the last cash cow left for all the various US states, which are broke to varying degrees (but all the degree of "broke"). Gambling? Yes! Medical marijuana? Sure! Alcohol everywhere? Absolutely! Just give the state a cut, because if the state doesn't get paid then they have to furlough workers and cut teacher pay, and unions always want to hold some protest over that shit, which is a drag.

The only state not participating is South Carolina, which will protect its citizens' sacred right to low cigarette taxes forever and ever, come what may elsewhere in that godforsaken land of Waffle Houses and partial tires strewn beside the road. God bless.

So how low will we go, vice-wise, in order to keep the red tide from completely swamping our guilt-ridden balance books? Would we push our crippled markets higher based on the promise of a trillion imaginary dollars to bail out the fish-eating Greeks who lazed about in their sailboats as the industrious Germans stockpiled Deutschmarks and perhaps sarin? Sure, why the fuck not? Would you purchase and wear a CUNY sweatshirt to help the democratic city institution educate our youth right here, where they live?

Not so fast. Vice is cool. We're fine being evil, cancerous leches. But we don't want to look like herbs.

[Pic: Flickr]