Ron Lieber writes a financial column for the New York Times. He is also a self-appointed Regulator of Restaurant Noise. Which is how he got himself kicked out of a restaurant last weekend, with good reason.

Lieber tells the tale on the NYT's Diner's Journal blog today: There he was, dining at Restaurant Marc Forgione in Tribeca Saturday night, when all of a sudden, "loud, sustained yelling" erupted from the kitchen. It was Mr. Forgione himself, chewing out a staff member! A few minutes later it happened again. That was when Ron Lieber, Unlicensed Dining Etiquette Enforcer, swung into action—pushing back from his table and walking into the kitchen:

I don't remember exactly what I said, though I did not raise my voice to the point beyond where people in the kitchen could hear it. I told the chef that his behavior was making me and others uncomfortable. I let him know that I thought it was mean. And I asked him to cut it out. I don't remember exactly what he said in response, but whatever it was, I found it irritating enough that I reminded him that I was paying to eat there and told him again to stop berating his staff at that volume.

Haha, what? You're lucky you didn't get cut, dude. Haven't you ever watched 'Kitchen Nightmares?' Mr. Forgione walked out to Ron Lieber's table and told him to leave (Forgione says he only decided to ask him to leave after Lieber "waved a hand in my direction as if I was an annoying bug"). Then Ron Lieber went home wrote a column about this experience.

Whatever happens, Ron Lieber, stay out of the kitchen. Also, I have a few tips to make your writing a little snappier. I'll be at your office in 30 minutes. Don't go anywhere.