Will Three-Year College Schedules Kill Fun?

College was once regarded as a place where no-good kids could smoke weed for four years and come out technically qualified for a high-paying career. Now, its regarded as a place you can't afford. But is three-year college worth it?

The WSJ reports that the three-year plan to finish college (not the community college three year plan, which is still a popular option for weedheads) is becoming more widespread, as students struggle to chop off a year of school time in order to, get this, save money. The downside of this "fast track" plan: class all the time, meaning no time for classic college hijinx. No time for frats and sorors! No time for goldfish-downing and elaborate pranks at the expense of your rival, Harvard! Not even any time for Girls Gone Wild and nonstop ketamine-fueled fucking, in the dormitory. Just work, work, work, and then, upon graduation, haha, a recession with no jobs.

What is the point of saving 1/4 of an already-massive debt that you will be unable to repay for decades, anyhow? Don't feel bad, normal lazy worthless indebted college enrollees: "less than one-third of students at four-year colleges graduate within four years."

[We know you didn't feel bad, actually; you are drunk.]