Confirmed: Sanford Canoodled Argentine Lover in Florida Last Weekend

Gov. Mark Sanford and his metaphorical Appalachian Trail have reunited. After Gawker Stalker caught sight of Sanford and his Argentine lover in Florida, Sanford has admitted the rumor is true. He and Maria are back together!

At a news conference "on an unrelated issue" that has since been massively overshadowed, Sanford confirmed that he is back with Argentine lover Maria Belen Chapur, and they're totally doing it:

'As a matter of record, everybody in this room knows exactly who I was with over the weekend,' Sanford said. 'That is no mystery to anybody given what I said last summer. And, you know, the purpose was obviously to see if something could be restarted on that front given the rather enormous geographic gulf between us. And time will tell. I don't know if it will or won't.'

Questions arose after the website Gawker posted comments from tipsters who reported seeing Sanford in the Florida Keys this past weekend with a tall, attractive brunette they assumed was Chapur. Sanford said he didn't stay at the hotel mentioned in that posting or a subsequent published report.

I mean, it's not like they were doing much sleeping, anyway. At the same press conference, the governor continued:

'But this obsession with one's personal life at some point has got to end,' Sanford said.

Sorry, Luv Guv, no can do. You started this mess—and now we're emotionally invested! Maria Belen Chapur for First Sexpot of South Carolina. (If any of Sanford's people are reading this, I beseech you: Please get Maria to do a televised primetime interview. America demands hear the sexy voice of the woman who moved (Appalachian) mountains and ensnared weepy twat waffle Mark Sanford in a "hopelessly impossible situation of love.") [State]