Kevin Jonas, aka "The Ugly One" of the Jonas Brothers, was a celebrity contestant on tonight's Minute to Win It. Flanked by his wife (yes, wife), brothers and parents, Jonas competed admirably—and homoerotically. Inside, ~*~fabulous~*~ video highlights. *Snaps*
While Jonas' entire Minute to Win It experience was rather homoerotic, there were five standout moments that made me wonder whether it was all a coincidence (no) or if the producers decided to troll the American public (yes). Here they are.
1) Balls Attached to His Nose with Lube
Here, Jonas plays "Nose Dive," which involves him sticking his nose in vaseline and then using the lubrication to make cotton balls stick to it, before transferring the balls from the table with the lube... er, vaseline, to a separate one with a glass bowl.
2) Balls Coming Out of His Badonkadonk
Later, Jonas played "Junk in the Trunk," which forced him to shake his booty thang every which way as he attempted to extract eight ping pong balls from a box of kleenex affixed right above his most precious a$$et.
3) Let's Talk about Nuts
After host Guy Fieri announced that Jonas was "Tearin' up the 60-second circle," (make your own joke), we were introduced to his next challenge, called "The Nutstacker." This spawned an interesting discussion about the strategic placement of the aforementioned nuts between Fieri, Jonas and his brother, Nick.
4) Blowing the Joker?
The final challenge Jonas took on was called "Don't Blow the Joker." Here's his explanation of how he became aware of such a game and how his witnessing of a girl doing it improperly left him steamed.
5) Blowing the Joker
Jonas' posture + his mouth movements + Fieri's whispery commentary = Homoerotic Trifecta
Aaaaand I'm spent.