Conde Nast, the only civilized business near Times Square except the Hawaiian Tropic Zone, is considering moving its headquarters down to Ground Zero's 1 World Trade Center. Can you imagine! And Conde's being wooed with some very questionable assurances.

"It's the perfect place for them," said Elizabeth H. Berger, president of the Alliance for Downtown New York. "The lunch crowd will be very well dressed. And where else can you go to Tiffany and Century 21 on your lunch hour?"

Excuse us, Elizabeth H. Berger. Allow us to introduce you to a little someone we like to call Anna Fucking Wintour. Anna Fucking Wintour does not to to "Century 21" on her "lunch hour," or ever. Anna Fucking Wintour does not even eat "lunch," and if she did, she certainly wouldn't want to do it down in the rathole FiDi, which offers harried financiers convenient access to Burger King.

Midtown will have to move down there with her if they do this.