Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen Will Party No More

The Olsen twins have sworn off partying. Lindsay Lohan throws a drink at a hockey player. Claudia Schiffer gives birth. Is Justin Bieber dating Miley Cyrus? Shaq attack! Sunday's Gossip Roundup is no junk shot.

  • The Olsen Twins' friends say they have given up partying since Heath Ledger died. "It was a sad wake-up call for both of them," a source tells Page Six. Pretty inconsiderate: If the only blond celebrity twins are going to quit the party circuit, they should at lease train a couple of replacements to take their place. [Page Six]

  • TMZ is very convinced that Lindsay Lohan will be arrested after her court date on Thursday, as she's in Cannes and will have no way to fulfill her probation obligations by then. But even as the threat of incarceration hangs over her like a cloud of cigarette smoke, she's throwing club tantrums: She tossed her drink at New York Rangers player Aaron Voros' girlfriend, model Jessica Stam. The reason for the fight is that LiLo wanted their table at 1Oak, but wouldn't sit with them. She claimed Voros was her ex-boyfriend; Voros said he didn't know her. Really, it's Jessica Stam's fault for going to the same club as Lindsay Lohan. [Page Six] [TMZ]

  • Rachel Uchitel and Joslyn James seem to be fighting about something. Rachel Uchitel called Joslyn James a whore because was using her affair with Tiger to get famous, and now Joslyn James is calling Rachel a whore because she tried to get with married Bones David Boreanaz. Enough! You're both whores! In purely the technical sense, of course. I'm sure you are very nice people otherwise. [Radar]

  • Shaquille O'Neal is now one degree away from terrible former maybe-Senate candidate Harold Ford. He's been rumored to be dating Ford's ex, former Sony Music executive Lisa Ellis. Fingers crossed that this signals Shaq's entry into the New York political scene. [NYDN]

  • Claudia Schiffer had a baby girl! This after she posed nude and pregnant in German Vogue. Which means the baby can say it posed in Vogue, sort of. [People]

  • Two people got married: Their names are Jensen Ackles and Danneel Harris. They star in CW television shows. [E!]

  • Justin Bieber played coy when Ellen asked him about rumors he is dating Miley Cyrus. Is this because he and Miley aren't dating, or because he is contractually obligated to pretend that he his single so millions of girls don't jump off the nearest cliff into the roiling sea—heartbroken lemmings! [People]

  • Oh, you didn't think that former Food Network chef Juan-Carlos Cruz only had one team of hitmen lined up to kill his wife, did you? He had two! He also was going to pay the guys in cut-up $100: half before the hit, half after. This wasn't a strategy to keep from getting ripped off: He was just practicing his knifework.[TMZ]