Panic Now, Before Everyone's Doing ItS

The Way We Live Now: Having those same old troubles again. Remember that time, not too long ago, when we had the incident with, you know, the world economy plunging into hellfire and chaos? That thing? Yea. Comeback time!

It's a weekday, so of course stocks are crashing again today. Only hundreds of points, though! This must be what they mean when they say that "recoveries are as difficult as recessions." They're just like recessions, in fact.

Sadly, this time around it won't be enough to just jail a few landlords in order to pacify the angry gods of money. It won't be enough to just run to the unemployment centers and tell everyone that the city's finally under 10% unemployment, and expect them to break out the party hats and the champagne and maybe a nice little cake, which would have been thoughtful. You can't just say "Hey, we may be fucked, but at least we're not as fucked as the Florida tourism industry, amirite?" Because then you notice that part of your audience works on the beach in Florida, selling boogie boards.

No. It simply can't be whisked under the rug like a $23.5 billion Dubai debt. This time, we need to accept the hard fact that all the loans are delinquent, and that's not changing any time soon. We should gird ourselves for the continual downward spiral of the Dow Jones average and the subsequent re-decimation of Main Street, as Wall Street once again finds its secret life raft. The double dip recession should soon be here, and worse than ever.

Which is to say, smart investors are looking to buy.

[Pic: Shutterstock]