Dad blues! Lying scum! Super olds! Hammerheads! Psychobabble! Birdbrains! It's your long-awaited Science Watch, where we watch science—with eyes jutting out both sides of our toothy voracious skull!
More than a quarter of dads report being depressed three to six months after their child is born. See ladies? It's not all about you all the time.
Related, a new study says that men lie more than women. Sure, but this was British men, who are already the worst people on the face of the earth.
Scientists have discovered the genes that make you live to 100 even if you do all types of unhealthy shit. Who wants to live to be 100, anyhow?
Have you ever wondered why hammerhead sharks have such crazy looking heads? I personally wonder about this each and every day, as I take on "the big picture." Well, scientists now say that modern hammerheads evolved from a common ancestor 20 million years ago. Which doesn't really answer the question.
Ponder: Psychologists say that silence should be used as a tool—but tools are never silent. Do you get it? Barlett's Fucking Quotation city right there.
Oh here's another thing psychologists say: "Today's psychologically healthy adult is neither adult nor healthy." Why are psychologists so annoying?
Well well well, turns out that birds prefer regular old birdseed over "organic" birdseed. Put that in your pipes and smoke it, hippie bastards.