Comment of the Day: Help This New York Tourist Not Be a 'Tourist'

Today our very own urban culturalist Brian Moylan laid out some ground rules for summertime New York tourists. They were harsh, but fair. But one poor commenter about to visit the city got scared and needs more advice. Help them!

From tobaccoflower:

uh oh... I was already paranoid about my visit next week & now I'm in a lather. I haven't been to NY since I was 16 & auditioning for college (where the highlights of my trip were buying my first pack of smokes, staying at Hotel Pennsylvania without supervision & spending a full day in Bergdorf trying to look natural/fancy) . This time I'm staying with friends in Park Slope & find myself worrying about my weak ass wardrobe & tendency to get lost in my own apartment. I am clumsy, self-conscience, chronically reckless, and trust anybody & everybody with whom I come into contact.

This is looking pretty dire. Any advice for an imprudent 28 yr. old who has been living in the mid-west too long but doesn't want to be openly mocked/screeched at?