The Weather Channel Will Never Be SexyS

Sometimes you have to stick to what you know and dully pound the hell out of it. The Weather Channel should stick to muzak and low/highs. They are trying to become sexy and it is embarrassing.

The New York Times outlines the Weather Channel's flailing attempts at a makeover: They started showing weather-related movies at night (Misery is weather-related because "it takes place during a snowstorm"); they launched a morning show with Al Roker; they boosted their reality programming like "Storm Stories." They are basically trying to become the Bravo! of weather, only replace rich housewives with people screaming in terror as the water slowly builds around their ankles.

But, turns out people do not want to watch Before They Were Storm Fronts or whatever. They just want the damn weather! The most embarrassing anecdote provided by the Times was from last month, when The Weather Channel refused break away from its scheduled movie to report on a huge swarm of tornadoes hitting the South. Sure, those viewers in Georgia got to enjoy the 1998 film The Avengers (Tomatometer: %15). But they also probably got crushed under the weight of their falling roof. (After which the crew of Weather Channel's Storm Squad helped them out of the rubble and rebuilt their home with materials kindly provided by Lowes.)

Face it, Weather Channel, your target demo is 65 year-olds falling asleep with a cat on their lap.