Is Tom Cruise Dancing Katie Holmes to Death?

Tom Cruise wants to be the next Fred Astaire, with Katie his Ginger Rogers. Lohan returns. Jesse James sells some stuff on eBay. Bret MIchaels risks his life for reality television. Sunday's Gossip Round up requires three double-A batteries.

  • Remember when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes danced to "Whatever Lola Wants" at a benefit and everyone made fun of them last month? Tom Cruise is determined to make sure that never happens again. He has enlisted Katie Holmes in a grueling dance training regimen which includes practicing "several times a week," and... well there are no other details but we can only assume there is some sort of strange Scientology mind exercise that will make you a better dancer. Apparently, Tom wants him and Katie to "become the new Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire." [OK!]

  • Did you feel a strange chill in the air at around 7pm last night, as if someone had opened a long-sealed coffin and you caught a whiff of petrified flesh and sadness? That was Lindsay Lohan returning to the U.S.A. after partying in Cannes. There was of course a warrant out for her arrest, but the $100,000 bail was posted before she got home. She's got a fun court hearing on Monday, where she will be fitted with a "booze-sniffing SCRAM device on her ankle" and ordered not to drink or be sent to jail. So she took full advantage of the in-flight wine on her flight back. [NYDN][E!][TMZ]

  • Jesse James is selling a bunch of his possessions on eBay, including two of his bikes. Other possessions include: motorycle parts, Indian Chief aluminum cans, a gas mask and two mini coffins. So if anyone is looking for things to decorate their 14 year-old son's room—NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY. [Radar]

  • What will Tila Tequila call herself if she goes clean? She has signed up for VH1's Celebrity Rehab. So, this means Tila will have been on every VH1 show except Basketball Wives. She's working on it, though. [TMZ]

  • Speaking of reality television stars: People are worried that Bret Michaels is endangering himself by flying to be on the Celebrity Apprentice finale so soon after having a stroke and discovering that he has a hole in his heart. E! Talked to a doctor who said Bret Michaels should rest and not go to the taping. Why don't they just have the finale in the hospital so when Bret Michaels collapses again he's already there? [E!]

  • Oh, grandmas. Always spoiling their grandchildren then giving in-depth accounts to People! Candy Spelling says that she loves spoiling her grandchildren with ice cream now that she and Tori are reconciled. [People]

  • This man named David Krumholtz got married to a woman named Vanessa Britting. The man is in a television show called Numb3rs. [People]

  • Kate Beckinsale's beautiful earring fell off her ear at Cannes... into her boobs. She took it out in front of all the cameras which captured a second-by-second record of her shame. [DailyMail]

  • Ozzy Osbourne is deaf so he had to make the staff of Serafina turn down the music when he wanted to talk to his wife. [P6]