Just minutes ago, Judge Marsha Revel ordered that Lindsay start wearing a SCRAM bracelet, a clunky device worn around the ankle that will constantly monitor her blood alcohol level and determine whether or hot she has been drinking. Our Little Lohan voluntarily wore one three years ago to prove to the world how sober she was, and we all know how that turned out. Lohan has 24 hours to activate the device.
She'll also have to have random drug testing once a week and will have to attend an "alcohol education" class once a week. We have a feeling that there is no sort of alcohol that Lindsay hasn't been educated on at this point, but we have been proved wrong before. The only reason she'll be allowed to miss one of the classes is if she has to get tested at the same time. If she drinks alcohol, misses a class, skips a drug test, or tests positive for alcohol, she will violate the terms of her bail and could be sent to jail. Her lawyer argued that Lindsay is scheduled to start working in Texas soon and requested that Lindsay be able to submit to random testing there. At first the judge rejected the idea, but later agreed to the exception.
This all started when Lindsay violated her probation for a DUI arrest by only attending 10 of the 13 alcohol classes she was mandated to attend by the court. That left her in violation of probation and she missed a scheduled hearing because she was gracing the red carpet in Cannes, which prompted a judge to issue a bench warrant for her arrest. She said she missed the hearing because while in France her passport was stolen and she couldn't get a new one in time. At today's hearing, the defense attorney asked for plane tickets to prove that Lindsay did intend to make it back to LA in time, which is kind of like asking for the dog's turd to see if there is any homework actually in it. LiLo's attorney produced said turd and showed her client's plane tickets and her duplicate passport.
There was also something about Lindsay's uncle dying as an excuse for her missing something or other, but Lindsay didn't even go to the funeral, so the judge told her lawyer to zip it and save it for the trial. She was a very nice judge though, and you can tell because she has a puppy dog calendar on the wall of her courtroom. Aw!
As for Lindsay, she looked professional in a black skirt and blazer with white shirt, an ensemble that was practically (dare we say it) sober compared to her usual couture mishaps. She didn't make many expressions, though she rolled her eyes a couple of times when talking to her lawyer during an aside, but other than that she stayed stoic and silent.
Lindsay has to report back to court on July 6th for a formal hearing about her probation violation when we'll find out whether or not she'll go to jail for skipping class. Before then the prosecution asked that the alcohol education program send the excuses Lindsay gave on why she couldn't make it to her court-appointed sessions. The judge seemed very eager to hear them and since Ms. Lohan has already trotted out the lost passport and the mystery dead uncle, these are sure to be doozies.
[Image via AP]