She's back, baby, and ready to judge you. Also today: Movie roles in a variety of independent pictures, we find out what happens at the end of Cannes, and the triumphant return of Miss America.
That limping shuffle and crashing of dishes and table lamps isn't an intruder. It's Paula Abdul, who's headed back into your home! Via the television set, of course. Instead of going on The X Factor (which she actually still might do), Abdul will be a judge on CBS' Got To Dance, a reality competition series about dancers whose kids are kidnapped, so they must dance if they ever want to see them alive again. Or I don't know, it's just another stupid dance show. But yay for Paula Abdul! Not yay for your Hummel figurine collection, which she just toppled over and is now lying in a shattered pile of, sleeping softly. [Variety]
Oh and speaking of ladies named Paula, Paula Patton — so pretty and pretty in Precious — is headed to Martha's Vineyard for Jumping the Broom, a comedy about two families, one rich and one not-so-rich, who gather on the island for a wedding. Sadly for maybe no one, this is not a sequel to Noah's Arc: Jumping the Broom, the movie made out of that gay TV series on Logo. Just the same name. Sigh. [THR]
Sam Rockwell is in talks to star in Sweet Baby Jesus, a story about a guy named Joe who gets his teenage girlfriend Mary pregnant and they trek to Bethlehem, Maryland to have the kid and do you see a theme emerging here? Oddly this American indie quirk-fest is being produced by French people and financed by British investors and Irish tax incentives. But they're filming in Maryland. We need immigration reform now more than ever! [Deadline]
Reese Witherspoon is also reportedly circling an indie role, though this one with a little more oomph. She's supposedly been offered a role in the tentatively titled The Master, Paul Thomas Anderson's new American epic about the birth and flourishing of a Scientology-esque cult. Anderson's an awfully dark, serious director for someone like Witherspoon, but she could be up to the challenge. She used to be dark and serious. Sort of. I mean, remember Freeway? [Playlist]
The Miss America Pageant is returning to ABC, which had been its longtime home until 1997. At the time ABC had chosen to partner up with Donald Trump and his Miss USA show instead, but they eventually jettisoned that too, in 2004. And now Miss America's back. Why? Because a Muslim lady won this year and people started paying attention again? Because people prefer the older, stalwart "America" instead of the zippy, youthful "USA"? I hope they ask the contestants these questions next year. Tell me, Miss Idaho, why is this show back on ABC this year? "Potatoes." [Variety]
A Thai film has won the Palme d'Or at Cannes this year. Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives took the top honor on Sunday, a prize accepted by its director, openly gay indie auteur Apichatpong "Joe" Weerasethakul. But no prizes were given to any American films so who really cares. The whole festival was a bust this year! [THR]