Republicans Afraid Tea Party Stoner Will Crush ThemS

The North Carolina Republican Party is going after Tea Party congressional candidate Tim D'Annunzio because he is a druggie, deadbeat dad who once found the Ark of the Covenant (in Arizona). And he is ahead in polls.

The GOP has been steadily courting Tea Party candidates across the country because when you have smug assholes like Eric Cantor as the face of your party, well, you have an image problem. These days they're looking to tap into all of the populist rage that is sweeping across the Heartland by kissing the asses of complete nutjobs. So why is the North Carolina Republican Party attacking Tea Party candidate Tim D'Annunzio? Because he likes to party. And he's fucking crazy. A laundry list of Republican gripes, from the AP:

In Hoke County divorce records, his wife said in 1995 that D'Annunzio had claimed to be the Messiah, had traveled to New Jersey to raise his stepfather from the dead, believed God would drop a 1,000-mile high pyramid as the New Jerusalem on Greenland and found the Ark of the Covenant in Arizona. A doctor's evaluation the following month said D'Annunzio used marijuana almost daily, had been living with another woman for several months, had once been in drug treatment for heroin dependence and was jailed a couple times as a teenager.

The doctor concluded that his religious beliefs were not delusional. A judge wrote in a child support ruling a few years later that D'Annunzio was a self-described "religious zealot" who believed the government was the "Antichrist." The judge said he was willfully failing to make child support payments.

And by crazy, we mean that in the most endearing way. But Tom Fetzer, North Carolina's Republican Party chairman would not agree. To Fetzer, D'Annunzio is bad for the conservative brand. He told the AP that "Mr. D'Annunzio has disqualified himself by his background, his record and his behavior." If that's the new criteria for running as a GOP candidate, then they'll need to use a scorched earth policy this fall.

D'Annunzio says that 16 years ago, religion helped him rise past a "a troubled upbringing," and he's not going to let a bunch of out of touch dickheads ruin his vibe: "The bigger story is that the power brokers in Raleigh and in Washington are willing to go to any length and use any unscrupulous tactic to try to destroy somebody. They think that they're losing their control over the Republican party." Speak truth to power, Tim.

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