If Nutritional Supplements Killed You, You'd Have to Laugh at the Irony

Recession health! Exercise sleep! Executive workouts! Cornhole fever! And tainted supplements poisoning you from the inside out, ironically! It's your Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while shopping for creatine, mmm!

  • Look on the bright side: the recession is helping Americans improve their health, by giving us all less money to buy fudge. And thank god for that; always with the fudge, America.
  • Does exercise help you sleep better? Actually, a new study says that it's the belief that you're exercising a lot that helps you sleep well, rather than the actual amount of exercise. Great news for you lazy, self-delusional types. We can also report that sleeping more does not lead to exercise.
  • Does New York real estate executive Mark Stromm enjoy nothing more than yiquan followed by a little roll on the mat, Brazilian jiu-jitsu style? The answer is yes.
  • Fact: if your main form of workout is "cornhole," you have a problem.
  • What has the US Congress been up to lately? Testing herbal and nutritional supplements. Not only that, but they found that a bunch of them are contaminated with lead and arsenic and shit. I hope that doesn't include NO-Xplode, or I'm fucked.