Fox News' Greta Van Susteren received an email from a viewer, "Brian," saying that her "brain is empty." Naturally, she started a poll on her blog: "Who is dumber? Greta, or Brian." Guess who's winning.
Van Susteren, the network's resident weird Scientologist, is an experienced blogger who knows that the best way to deal with personal slights is to blog about them extensively. So when she received an insulting email from viewer "Brian" of "Tahlequah, OK," she posted it without hesitation:
You got that right, you have a mind like a seive. Your brain is empty.
Matter of fact, it is so empty, if you put a pea in your skull it would rattle around like a BB in a boxcar. You said it, gal, not me, but I sure do agree with you. A true blonde.
PS How do you get that cush job, anyway?
What Greta seems to have forgotten is that while the internet is a great place to air grievances, it is not a great place to find personal validation. In fact, it is the actual worst place to find personal validation. Especially in poll form:
Can you guess how this is going for Greta? If you have been on the internet before, even for five minutes, you may have a clue.
Obviously, as a professional blogger, I took the poll very seriously and weighed the evidence carefully: On the one hand, "Brian" doesn't know how to spell the word "sieve." On the other hand, Greta actually made a poll asking if she was dumber than a guy who wrote her an email.
I voted for Greta, in the hopes that they will replace her. I look forward to On the Record with Brian from Tahlequah.