University of Miami music professor Doug Bickel (pictured) was either, A) forced out because he's a sexual-harassing, weed-smoking maniac, or B) resigned after pressure from a jealous homophobic fellow pianist. Doug Bickel is either A) awesome or B) fucked up.

Miami New Times reports on both sides of this very important story for academic freedom, gay rights, and nutty professordom. The music school dean alleges that Bickel "smoked pot in his office, tried to barbecue inside a classroom, mooned his students, and sexually harassed them — 'I wanna fuck all you girls,' Berg quotes him as saying." Bickel, in turn, says that he quit in befuddled outrage after the dean said a female student accused him of sexxxting her. No way!

He scrawled "I quit" on lined notebook paper and posted it on the dean's office door. He denies the sexting accusation, saying he couldn't have sent the message because he's gay. "This was more than I could take," he says. "I was intimidated into resigning. I'm not sure if it was because of my sexuality or because we play the same instrument."

And now the dean is all, "Bickel exhibits all the signs of a violent person." Really? Just look at the dude! He looks pretty chill. Bitches Brew Ballyhoo or a simple case of pianist envy? Doug Bickel may not live like a Thelonious Monk, but did he really spark the Bud Powell and tell the girls in the daisy Duke Ellingtons he wanted to Jelly Roll Morton with them? Etc., etc. Doug Bickel email us, let's jam dude.
[Riptide; Pic via]