Four candidates in Tuesday's primary elections in Alabama created campaign ads that "went viral" on the internet, including the "Most American Thing Ever" guy, Dale Peterson. So, does it help your electoral chances to have blogs laugh at your ads?
Have you seen all four of these hilarious videos? When I write "hilarious" what I mean is "deeply depressing." Here's how each of the candidates fared:
Subtext: Why do foreigners exist? (Bashfully shrugs.) I don't know, but I hate them. That's just common sense.
How He Did: James is currently tied for second place with state Rep. Robert Bentley, and could enter into a runoff election.
Subtext: Vote Roy Moore, unless you believe in evolution, in which case, how are you even intelligent enough to operate a voting machine?
How He Did: Moore—who may not have even created the ad—only took 14 per cent of the vote. The spot's subject, Bradley Byrne, who actually responded to the ad by saying it was a "lie" that he believed in evolution, came in first, but with only 26 per cent of the vote, forcing a runoff.
Candidate: Farmer/businessman/cop/marine during Vietnam Dale Peterson
Race: Republican primary for Alabama Commissioner of Agriculture and Industries
Subtext: Listen up: Farm cop marine during Vietnam. Horse! Thugs criminals Facebook. Illegals! Gun! We mean business.
How He Did: Third place with 27 per cent of the vote.
Subtext: Oh, man, not touching this one with a ten-foot pole unless I can have 40,000 words and a dissertation advisor.
How He Did: Last place with 16 per cent. Also losing this race: Rep. Parker Griffith, the incumbent, who had recently switched parties and become a Republican. Mo Brooks, the Madison County commissioner, won.