Well, he's going to be pretty soon at least. Also today: A Chinese remake of a bad American movie, an NBC reality show that feels unnecessary, Dustin Lance Black is going to direct a movie, and more Tilda casting.
Actress Gong Li (Raise the Red Lantern, Miami Vice: A Dirge) is set to star in a Chinese remake of What Women Want, that genius Mel Gibson comedy with all the laffs and the insight into ladies and men and what makes them love each other. Gong Li is playing the Mark Feuerstein part. Kidding! That would be great. No, she's playing the Helen Hunt part, duhhhh. Apparently she beat out a much younger actress to get the role, so good for her. Good for women! We know what they want: to beat each other. [THR]
Remember Tony Roberts, the friendly giant who gave aggressive self-help advice to you like ten years ago? Well in its infinite and oh-so-contemporary wisdom, NBC (Nickles, Bones, Cat-moans) has given him a summertime reality show. Doin' It with Tony Robbins (or something) will feature one loser a week who needs T.R.'s help. The first episode is about a stutterer who ends up speaking in front of an audience. And then he and Tony Robbins do it. Or something. [Variety]
Beautiful sex monster Dustin Lance Black, Oscar-winning Milk scribe, will write AND direct a movie adaptation of the graphic novel 3 Story: The Secret History of the Giant Man. It's the story of a three-stories-tall giant told in three parts (get it?), narrated by his mother, wife, and daughter. The tale is "on the arty side and downbeat," but apparently Black plans to amp up the father/daughter relationship and soften the sad-ish ending. Which is too bad! But it still sounds intriguing. DLB will be in it, dancing nude for two hours, right? OK, good. [THR]
Chloe Moretz, the tough-talking ninja murderer child in Kick-Ass, has landed the lead role in Hicks, a $6m indie about a Nebraska girl who runs away to Las Vegas and gets "more than she bargained for." (What had she bargained for? A pony? Does she get two ponies??) The child is also set to star in Marty Skorkzy's new feature, The Invention of Hugo Cabret, which is the one about the French robot. (That is actually what it's about!) No word yet if she'll play the French robot or what. I mean, her line readings are pretty robotic already!! Ha ha ha. Stupid kid. I win this round, small child who's done nothing to me. I'm an adult. Ha ha. [Variety]
Lovable schmo Paul Rudd has been cast in My Idiot Brother, about an idealistic guy with three driven sisters who bumps into their lives and changes them forever. It's not some big comedy that's gonna make lots of money, it's a small, wistful-sounding indie about idealism and ambition and whatnot. I think. What do I know? I haven't read anything. You know what my sister calls me? Well, actually, she calls me "Deedles," so I don't know what that has to do with anything. I'm an idiot. [THR]
Jason Patric, megastar of box office smashes like Speed 2: Cruise Control, has joined the cast of Tilda, that HBO pilot about Nikki Finke being a blogger. So that's a pretty starry cast! Diane Keaton, Ellen Page, Wes Bentley, and now Jason Patric. Who's next, Penelope Ann Miller?? Lolita Davidovich??? Oh man, the places they could go. Nancy Travis???? [Deadline]