Lame Government Officially Shoots Down Nuking the Oil Spill

The possibility of blowing up the oil spill with a nuclear bomb has been thrown around by bloggers and pundits. But now the Department of Energy has officially said that we will not be nuking the oil spill. Borrrring.

Russia used the bomb to seal off out-of-control oil wells in the 60s. So why don't we get to do this? A spokesman for the Department of Energy told The New York Times that nobody there was considering nuking the well. One senior official said: "It's crazy."

Crazy enough to work.

Listen, we've got all of these nuclear bombs sitting around. And besides starting nuclear wars, nuclear bombs are only good for two things: 1) Having Bruce Willis put them on an asteroid that's about to hit earth and 2) sealing oil wells. Why not just try it out? What's the worst that could happen?