East Coast: Jealous of all that free oil Louisiana is getting? No worries! The National Center for Atmospheric Research says that the huge oil slick from the Deepwater Horizon catastrophe could hit the East Coast in a matter of weeks.
It's only one scenario, based on an experiment done with dye in the water, and most of the mid-Atlantic States and New England "escape unscathed," so if nothing else, we'll still have Jersey Shore. Even as an animation, it's frightening to see how far the slick could potentially travel—worse when you consider that oil is apparently expected to strike land in Florida today.
Meanwhile, BP engineers still don't know if the cap they fit on the leaking well will stem the flow of oil, and a relief well, the only guaranteed solution, could be months away. There is probably some hilarious joke to make here! Maybe we can think of it later, while we are all not going to the contaminated beach.