Justin Bieber's cultural footprint is so big that it covers an entire category of lesbian. Now, if you are that kind of a lesbian, it is because you like Justin Bieber: You're a "Biebian." So says The New York Post!
Justin Bieber is not only a hit with teenage girls — he's also the rage with lesbians who call themselves "Biebians." The tween heartthrob has sparked a craze among lesbians who look and sound like the star — inspiring the brilliant Web site lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com, as well as Bieber nights at gay bars.
Here is the causality suggested by this passage: Lesbians love Justin Bieber. They have begun expressing their love of Bieber physically and carnally, by dating girls who look like Justin Bieber and by fashioning themselves into "Biebians." Some lesbians started this website, Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber, to share their Biebian ways and critique each other's "The Bieber" hairstyles.
The real logic is completely inverted. Lesbians have been sporting the shaggy-haired pre-pubescent androgyne look for years. I'm sure there's some pre-Biebian term for this, but for now, let's just be annoying and call it the "Shane" after the Biebian character from the Showtime drama The L Word. The L Word was released in 2004. In 2004 Justin Bieber was 10 and living in Stratford, Ontario. He probably had a buzz-cut and a rat-tail. The joke of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber is that now all these lesbians are being mistaken for Justin Bieber, when really he should be the first entry on a blog called Pop Stars Who Looks Like A Lesbian.
Biebians are an ironic subversion of the Bieberfication of modern life. (LWLLJB sells a shirt proudly proclaiming "I AM NOT JUSTIN BIEBER".) They will not sit passively by as the Bieberacolypse unfolds. And neither will we.