In a magical neighborhood called Williamsburg, old meets new, religious meets artistic, cultures combine to create a wondrous...ehhh. Old Italians and young Fauxhemians behaving stereotypically, dig it!
Ever since the olden days, the Italians of Williamsburg have been marching up and down the streets like, every god damn month to celebrate some saint or another. Now that Williamsburg is full of fauxhemians who don't give a fuck about old things, well, the stage is set for an epic confrontation of stereotypes! The NYT was on the scene. What say you, ignorant young recent transplant to the neighborhood?
"It was a tiny parade, and they shut down Graham Avenue?" said Mr. Tocco, 26, an actor. "There was one float and a horrible marching band. It was very ironic. The Latino parades are more festive."
Haha, way to filter even thoroughly unironic things through your default filter of irony, Mr. Tocco! Now, can any grizzled old Italian resident come up with an equally stereotypical response deploring these disrespectful kids, in the tone of Goodfellas?
"Two years ago when we were doing St. Cono, one of these yuppies dropped his pants," said Antonio Curcio, who is president of the Society of Saint Mary of the Snow. "It's something I never saw in my lifetime. As a man, I wanted to grab him and smash him against a wall, but you got to be a better person."
Wonderful work, both of you. Let's check back in a few weeks to see how old Italians like all these half-naked kids with their summer concerts blasting weird music through the whole neighborhood while people are trying to sleep.