Paris Hilton took the Wall Street Journal on a tour of her childhood home, the Waldorf-Astoria hotel. She manages to do this without stepping foot in the building—and talking only about herself.

Hilton was the subject of the paper's "Walkabout" video feature, wherein notable New Yorkers take a reporter on a tour of their neighborhood. Setting aside the fact that Paris is far more famous for being a Los Angeleno than a Manhattanite, we don't get to see anything inside the Waldorf. Instead we hear that as children she and sister Nicky used to like to go to FAO Schwarz (duh) and used to crash all the parties at the hotel (duh, squared). Then reporter Lee Hawkins takes the celebutante—sorry, "celebrity entrepreneur"—to Central Park, a place that she says she never goes to unless it's for a "photo shoot, or shooting a movie, or a business meeting." Oh, speaking of business, her perfume line brought in $100 million last year. Thanks for that, Paris.