Sorry, Scarlett! It's just what's going to happen. Also today: some truly frightening Dexter casting, the weirdest movie ever made, and Tom Cruise's Les Grossman might star in his own fucking movie.
Hm. Remember how last season on Dexter John Lithgow was the guest star and he was so terrifically creepy and just plain terrific? Well the show is having another guest star this season and it's... Julia Stiles! Um, yes. The girl who played the character of Me in The Prince & Me. And starred in the heartwrenching and hilarious romantic epic Down to You with Freddie Prinze Jr., the world's second-most talented actor named Freddie. (After Freddie Highmore.) Stiles will play "a mysterious young woman who forms a unique relationship with Dexter in the wake of the death of his wife." Hm. My guess is that she's some kind of serial killer fetishist. Or the Trinity killer had another mysterious daughter? Who knows. All that matters is that Julia Stiles, professional hip-hop ballet dancer, will be on Dexter next season. [Deadline]
Do you remember Vanessa Marcil? You do? OK then put down the bon-bons, put your stories on mute, and wrap that poorly knitted Afghan around your sweats-clad body. Because Vanessa Marcil — late of Las Vegas — is returning to her ancestral homeland of Port Charles. Yes m'am (and South Florida-dwelling sir), Brenda is coming back to General Hospital, as a series regular. So call up your sister Joycey and tell her to set the VCR so you can drive over to her and Gil's house right after the bank closes for the day and watch the heck out of it. Just remember to leave extra food for the cat in the morning 'cause you won't be home til later than usual, and you know how Whitelighter likes to eat at the same time every day or else he gets cranky. [EW]
Tom Cruise went on the MTV Awards For Movies last night and did his Les Grossman thing. You know, the swear-mouthed movie exec character he played in Tropic Thunder. Well at first it seemed like it was just for good fun, yay MTV and all that. But no. It was actually very likely a stealth test run. See, Tommy-Tom-Tom is now saying that they're working on a whole Les Grossman movie. A whole movie, just about him! In which, we'd guess, it's Ben Stiller and friends who have the cameos. Will you see this movie that will exist to show everyone that Tom Cruise is straight and funny? It'll be the same joke, many times. And that's always fun. [E!]
American heroine Sandra Bullock is reteaming with her The Proposal (2009 BAFTA Award for Best Use of a Combined Alaska/Mary Steenburgen Plotline) costar Ryan Reynolds for an action comedy called Most Wanted. We'd have to imagine it's about a woman who sees her new, hot boyfriend on America's Most Wanted and then is all "Wait, whuuuttt??" and hilarious, madcap hijinks ensue. That sounds sorta plausible, right? Why am I not writing movie treatments?? What's that? Because all the movie ideas I make up are simply dreadful? Oh, OK. Actually the movie is just about a woman on the run with an FBI agent, Reynolds, who is tasked with protecting her. Then, obviously, they fall in love. This movie has never been made before. Are these two the new Tracy and Hepburn? The new Bullock and Reeves? [EW]
Patrick Dempsey, Ashley Judd, Tim Blake Nelson, Mekhi Phifer, and Jeffrey Tambor are all staring in a caper flick together called Flypaper. It's written by the Hangover guys and directed by the guy who directed the Stuart Little movie. Richard from Ally McBeal is also in it. So it is essentially the strangest movie ever made. Congratulations, everyone! [THR]