Heyyyy science!! We are just facting up a storm today. First it was totally gay jungle cats, and now it's a study that proves that gay dudes are skinnier than straight ones. And lesbians? Well, they're heftier than straight girls.

Which, like, DUHRRR. Everyone knows this empirically, but now researchers at the American Journal of Public Health have waved their PhDs in a Z formation and declared it true. They studied 67,000 people in Taxachusetts and found that 14% of gay men were obese, whereas 21% of straight men fit the same shameful description. On the women's side, 26% of lesbians were obese, compared to 17% of straight girls. What could possibly be the reason for this? Well, jerky asshole men, naturally:

"People in sexual relationships with men - heterosexual women and gay men - get more pressure to look thin and to otherwise conform to attractiveness norms than do people in sexual relationships with women - lesbians and heterosexual men," [Esther Rothblum, a professor of women's studies at San Diego State University] said.

Fuckin' men, man. Right? Ah well, nothing feels as gender equal as skinny feels. Or something. A more troubling data point to come out of the study? Gay men are more likely to be smokers. OF WHAT?