Lindsey Graham Looking To Kill His Climate Change Bill

When will Congress declare hopes for a climate change bill this year dead, dead dead dead, which they pretty much are? GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham helped draft it and is now officially working against it, for funny-sounding reasons.

Graham helped develop a bill for months alongside John Kerry and Joe Lieberman, with the White House hoping that he'd be able to bring along a few other Republican votes when all was said and done. The thing about this strategy is that it does not, well, work? Really at all? Not with this Republican party, most elected members of which would be labeled corrupt Stalinist liars by their constituents for even entertaining the notion of addressing climate change, something Al Gore and those greedy "non-profit research scientists" made up to get the big bucks and meet their impending alimony payments.

So Graham won't provide the 60th vote if he's the only Republican, the politics are too nasty. What are his pretend Policy Disagreements that he's using as an excuse?

I'm in the wing of the Republican Party that has no problem with trying to find ways to clean up our air. We can have a debate about global warming, and I'm not in the camp that believes man-made emissions are contributing overwhelmingly to global climate change, but I do believe the planet is heating up. But I am in the camp of believing that clean air is a noble purpose for every Republican to pursue. The key is to make it business friendly.

Parse it! (No, don't. Do not parse it.) Weird that he would work on this man-made climate change bill for so long without believing much in man-made climate change, although he did believe it, until...

Yeah, let's just leave it, too confusing. We will all be underwater shortly, is the point! Stock up on whatever you would keep in your underwater house (a computer? Let's go with "a computer.")