Oregon second-grader Horman has been missing for six days now. Authorities have no clue what happened to him. Luckily the Internet does: It was his stepmom! They can tell from her Facebook updates.
Kyron disappeared last Friday from his Portland, Oregon elementary school. Investigators still have not turned up anything in almost a week.
But now we can finally call off the massive search! Send the 500 volunteers and National guard helicopters home. Case solved—by the Internet! A number of Internet detectives obtained Horman's stepmother's Facebook address via their powerful Google machines. There they found irrefutable evidence that Horman's stepmother is the culprit. Writes Mom Logic:
Kyron's stepmom has gotten criticism for posting trivial messages on Facebook (such as, "Hitting the gym tomorrow") since her stepson has gone missing. She didn't change her profile pic to one of Kyron for six whole days — even though her husband and countless friends and concerned strangers all did.
And the posters at JusticeQuest have been working overtime on the Facebook status update clue. Writes one poster: "I agree that it's odd she is commenting on normal day stuff and not things like..Please pray for my baby.....etc. I have seen more pleas from friends on Facebook when their pets have run away!"
Then KATU—a real life news station in Portland—did some Facebook forensics and spoke to a former criminal profiler:
[Horman] has spent some time on Facebook since Friday responding to posts from friends and talking about her workouts, which is more that Jensen said he finds unusual.
"What I know from being an investigator and dealing with parents in tragic situations like this - homicides, kidnappings, stuff like that - they just really couldn't much function other than to sit and wait for us to call," he said.
Well, that basically proves that the stepmom did it. Good job, Internet. Now let's try to figure out who really was responsible for 9/11.