Chatroulette's War On Penises

Remember Chatroulette? The crazy random videochat thing? Its founder wants to turn it into a more legitimate business, which means cutting down on the number of disgusting things one witnesses there. Can he do it? (Probably not.)

TechCrunch says today that the rawness that drew millions to Chatroulette in the early days is beginning to scare them and—more importantly—investors away. Seems that Chatroulette is the one place on the Internet people aren't looking for naked pictures.

So, Chatroulette's founder, 17 year-old Russian Andrey Ternovskiy, has been trying to cut down on the number of penises. According to TechCrunch:

Look for feature changes soon that will try to send all those penises to the background. The service may add software that can quickly scan video to determine if a penis is being shown. And users that are consistently quickly skipped over (presumably because they are exposing themselves or otherwise being disgusting) can be flagged as well.

Woah, woah woah. Hold on. There is automatic penis-determining software? Why is this not common knowledge? Do you know how much time I spent as a child manually determining whether things looked like penises? Water towers, food items, etc. Think of how awesome it would be if you could walk around with a handheld computer loaded with penis software and then point it at, like, a pastoral scene and it could automatically pick out the collection of rocks and trees that looks just like a penis? Hilarious! Maybe Ternovskiy should just forget trying to keep penises off of the Internet and market that instead?

PENIS DETECTOR 3000™.

(via DailyIntel)