The official residence of the mayor of Denver has a fire pole in the master bedroom, a pink grand piano, and "mini-condominiums for squirrels." Sweetest mayor's house ever, right? So why is Denver selling it?
In 1998, cable TV pioneer and former Los Angeles Lakers owner Bill Daniels donated his bachelor pad—"Cableland"—to the city of Denver for use as the official mayoral residence. This is the most awesome thing that has ever happened to the mayor of Denver, due to the fact that the house is 100% totally bitchin', as The New York Times reports:
With portraits of barely clad women in the bathroom, personal notes from Gerald R. Ford and John F. Kennedy adorning the walls and a pink baby grand piano, Cableland feels more "Miami Vice" than mayoral.
Mr. Daniels died in 2000 at 79, leaving a $4 million endowment to keep up the property, which includes an 1,102-square-foot swimming pool and mini-condominiums for squirrels.
And yet, Cableland may be too rad for this world: New Denver mayor John Hickenlooper, who is basically a total killjoy lame-o, wants to sell the place, partly because his wife "vowed that she would sooner live in the county jail after staying a weekend at the Cableland mansion with their young son." The idea's been postponed for now, but will be taken up later this summer.
Well, first of all, the Denver county jail must be the sweetest freaking place on the planet, to be more fun than a house with a "12-foot fire pole in the master bedroom... 88 television sets and [a] retro tanning bed."
Second of all, mini-condominums for squirrels.
Third of all, the money from the sale would "raise college scholarship money for poor Denver public school graduates," which is an honorable cause—but is it more honorable than the cause of making the mayor of Denver the coolest mayor at the mayor's conventions?
Fourth of all, is there anyone sane left in Denver? Good question: The answer is "yes," and his name is Denver City Council member Charlie Brown:
"The mayor's wife hated the house, so what?" Mr. Brown said. "Maybe another first spouse will like it. I think it's cool."