Now That Afghanistan Is Rich, How About Helping The Hamptons?S

The Way We Live Now: Rejoicing, for we are saved. Untold riches have been deposited under our very feet by god Himself! Now if god can just fix up every other fucking thing that's shot to hell, we'll be...better.

Don't you wish you were Afghani now! Sure you do! Does your crappy country have a trillion bucks worth of lithium and who knows what else (artillery shells?) buried in its bleak and dusty landscape? I don't think so!

So, scratch Afghanistan off our list of problems. It wasn't high on the list, to be honest, but every little bit helps. We assume that the 5% cut or whatever the mining companies give them will buy enough mud brick huts to paper the entire countryside with mud brick huts, which is the nation's destiny. Now, we would like to gently direct god's attention to a few items higher on that list: high-end hotels in the Hamptons are in trouble, for example. Hello, god? And when you fix that, please do something about the fact that Roman Abramovich is having trouble paying for his $300 million yacht. What sort of cruel world do we live in? And then, lord, if you have time, perhaps think about the fact that desperate gunmen in Iraq are murdering dozens in a raid on the central bank, and sick Americans are too lazy or uncaring to take their own life-saving medicine without the incentive of a sort of Lotto ticket.

But those last two, only if you get time.

[Pic:AP]