Starbucks: Now With More Porn-Browsing Laptop HobosS

Starbucks, of late, has been relentlessly hobo-fying itself in order to attract the rubes and bumpkins who flock to America's finest coffee house, McDonald's. Hey rubes: now you can look at Miley Cyrus upskirt pix free, while drinking caffeine sugar!

Starbucks announced it plans to offer free wi-fi, finally, which is something you can already get not only at fancy indie coffee shops like Cafe Grumpy, but also at, yes, McDonald's. So don't be fooled by the news that Starbucks is also going to give its customers free access to WSJ.com; the only thing that today's version of Starbucks customer will be using wi-fi for is browsing gun websites and enjoying the sweet sounds of Skoalrebel.

The real tragedy is that this news inspired who knows how many newspapers to write leads like: "How about this for a Starbucks order: venti cappuccino with soy milk, two squirts of vanilla syrup - and a side of free Internet." Probably they could Google up some mocha latté frappucino hazelnut Twitter as well, Ha! Ha!
[Pic: Flickr]